Yes, it's possible! It's possible to be Christian and nihilist! It's okay and possible and doesn't have to split your soul into two, this awareness that you are fundamentally nihilist, and there's no need to kill yourself from the terrifying loneliness this realisation brings (for it is loneliness when you have to choose for yourself the kind of values that matter and those that don't, when even fellow nihilists cannot agree on a coherent set of values, other than that there being none) or to condemn yourself to eternal persecution for thinking such blasphemous thoughts (i.e. that being Christian may be a choice, a nihilist decision, and nonetheless valid for that, than a state of ready-being).
Oh, how long have I fought this! I have spent too much time listening to others, being angry with others' opinions, unable to tell truth from falsity, when of course I have always suspected that truth is not real, has never been, and is too related to human subjectivity to 'exist' in any objective sense, that we only choose our own illusions. Oh, the mindfuckery of this, and the despair that comes upon realising we live within hegemony within hegemony, illusion within illusion, that there may be no Truth and no Purpose either. But where this was once paralysing (for the only way I could be confident of my own choices was to lay the responsibility somewhere other than in the one I had chosen), it is now liberating. Liberating because this is who I am, who I've always been - it's the way I think, the framework via which I live, it's so uncomprehendingly, so frighteningly, yet so rightly, me.
Perhaps this is what it means to come to oneself, to finally take responsibility and accept the person one was made to be (and this is where I choose, still, to believe in God; I'll explain another time), and take on the personal deficiencies that hinder that self-actualisation of being. My reflexive evasion of responsibility, for example, has too often been my downfall; it is the reason I refuse to peel apart what I do and don't believe in, or to trust in my experiences and decisions. I cannot bear the consequences, you see, because they are too painful; the illusions I have thus far chosen for myself have saved me from untold pain. My pride adds further to my downfall, for I cannot bear to think myself cowardly, which means that I am unable to admit, even to myself, the real motivations behind my decisions. To keep myself from insanity, I've had to work overtime to make coherent the world and myself, fitting together those that may not naturally fit. Doing so requires an illusion of truth - a truth that transcends all illusions, that overwhelms my instinctive notions (for 'lack of faith' is as good a castigation as any) and that, as a bonus, endorses historical and socially-sanctioned values such as kindness, commitment, and honesty, which would at least help me function in the quotidian.
Oh, but it's okay after all.